We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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