Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Randomize
