he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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