He asked me if I "almost moaned"
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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