Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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