hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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