Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
