Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
