My girlfriend figured out who you are.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
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