Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
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