So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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