Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
