ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
