he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
