Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
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I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
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they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
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