you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
