i would punch a child for taco bell
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Slut skills are useful in every country.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
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