Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
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you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
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You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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