Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
