Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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