Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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