I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
