It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize