Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
