2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
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You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Houston, we have a squirter
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Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize