Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
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