party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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