You really coming over, don't trick.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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