what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize