new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Randomize
