she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
