Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
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