No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
