I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
