I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
