The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize