i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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