Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize