Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
