Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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