Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
i black out too much to be "responsible"
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
