i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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