U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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