I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
