are you still at the devil's house?
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
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