do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
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