she is the kim kardashian of front butts
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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