My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
