Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
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