Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
