So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
