I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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