Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
