brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
