yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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