It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Randomize