I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
