:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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