GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
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Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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