I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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