We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
